I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
