dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
