Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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