I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
