I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
