Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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