So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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