Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
