I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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