Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
