I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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