i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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