i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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