How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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