The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
