How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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