Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
