almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
