Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize