The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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