The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize