spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
