Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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