I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize