last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
