I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My balls are so social today.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
