she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
