Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
