i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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