what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
