I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Houston, we have a blender
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
