unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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