When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
3pm strippers are depressing
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize