Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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