Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
