I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Cover your peen. We're going out.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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