turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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