and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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