Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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