Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
