did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
