He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
