I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can't turn off my feet"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
