Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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