So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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