Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
