no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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