I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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