no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
