If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
