just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
