Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
