Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Randomize
