Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We just shotgunned beers for America
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
