Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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