He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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